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Friday, 22 September 2017

It's Our Fault If Aliens Fail To Integrate

by Tim Murray

The Thing
The Thing (above) has entered Canada as a refugee claimant. His barbaric cultural practices will be reasonably accommodated.


Does anyone know which part of the GTA that Justin Trudeau's rumoured plans to set aside for the settlement of hundreds of thousands Rohingya Muslim refugees? Are any to be seeded in the Maritimes? Or the Yukon? Is St. John's or Inuvik due for more vibrancy?

I ask only because Boy Wonder was in New York today grandstanding before an adoring audience of clapping feminists in his quest to be regarded as the Mother Theresa of North America. In this speech he told the audience that the most important thing we can do in life is to accept and reach out to people "who are different from ourselves" Perhaps he his true vocation then would be to head SETI (The Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligent Life). If you look at Toronto today, you might conclude that he has already found them. If they do a re-make of Star Wars they could use Toronto or Vancouver as a set for the bar scene.

Now, deplorable xenophobes like me might suggest that ETs might pose a security risk — or of even greater concern to Canadians — they may fail to "integrate." You see, from a Canadian point of view, the problem with aliens like those depicted in fear-mongering films like "The War of the Worlds," or "Invasion of the Body-Snatchers," or "The Thing" is that Americans failed to "reach out to them." In other words, they weren't Canadians. Trudeau exemplified this national mentality when asked about the cause of the Boston bombing. He said that the bomber was one of the many young people who feel "left out" of our society, and if we only "included" them, it would be a different story.

According to the Gospel of Diversity-is-our-Strength, integration is a two-way street. In fact as CBC reporter Margaret Evans showed in her recent interview with a German born Muslim in Berlin, aliens don't integrate because they don't feel "welcome" and "accepted." Maybe it has something to do with the fact that governments never had a mandate to "welcome" them into the country in the first place. Maybe taxpayers were never consulted before or after — just lectured about their intolerance. Or maybe they didn't feel welcomed or accepted because they undercut the wages of indigenous workers. Or maybe it was because they sucked the tits of the welfare state that taxpayers paid for as is their apparent entitlement. Or some other trivial reason. I don't know.

But the take away point here is that ethnic conflict and poor race relations are down to us, not them. If there is a problem, it can only be because we didn't try hard enough. It certainly couldn't be because multi-ethnic/multi-racial societies are inherently unstable. Anyone who would suggest such a thing is a Thought Criminal beyond redemption. A Powellite who has no place at our 21st Century table of mutual respect and tolerance.

But not to worry because as Justin keeps reminding us, Canadians are a "welcoming" people. The "angry white bigots" he saw demonstrating in Quebec City last August are, he assures us, a tiny minority of the population. The real Canadians are the Canadians of Antigonish in Nova Scotia who the CBC depicted last night. These Real Canadians helped a Syrian Muslim family establish very successful chocolate-making business, like the one they had back home in Syria. The 9 in 10 Syrian refugees who have still not found a job were not featured in that news item. One suspects that if Canadian taxpayers saw the bill for their upkeep, they might be less "welcoming" than the folks in Antigonish.

Oops. There I go again, always putting a negative face on what is a great example of how well Canadian multiculturalism works. It is truly a great success story because we are so innately welcoming that migrants can't help but to succeed. And once they do their sons — born in Canada — will express their gratitude, as second-generation Muslim youth in the West are known to do, whether in Britain, France, Belgium — you name it. We make Diversity work because we are just so damn good at it.

So therefore if would be reasonable to speculate that if the Martians or the Pods or The Thing had chosen Canada to be their introduction to human civilization, the movie would have followed an entirely different script from the one that Hollywood screenplay writers wrote. Upon arrival in Canada ET aliens would have instantly realized that aggressive action would be unwarranted and unnecessary. The Thing would simply had to declare refugee status and given some angry white bigots to feast on, plus a work permit, free access to medical care and social housing.

In return, he, she or it would more than likely enrich our cuisine, which according to the Diversity Cult is the litmus test of successful integration and good citizenship. Anthony Bourdain would be up here in a flash to put his seal of approval on Trudeau's refugee policy, as he did when he visited Germany after Merkel's bold move to open the floodgates. Since Turks and Syrians know how to prepare a delectable dish, Bourdain concluded that the massive influx was a net plus for Germany, and the morally right thing to do. He would no doubt reach the same verdict in Canada. "The Thing may be a bloodthirsty cannibal but he has put Quebec City on the map in terms of exotic cooking."

One must admit that Justin Trudeau and his public relations arm, the CBC, make quite a team. They are doing such a bang up job of selling (out) Canada that it is a wonder that every potential migrant from every failed state in the world hasn't beaten a path to our door. But perhaps I am impatient. It could just be a matter of time before they do. Get your welcome mat ready.

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