Green oracle George Monbiot, rock star columnist for The Guardian, said some months ago that Islamic terrorism was no big deal. In fact, in the UK, he wrote, it is less dangerous than wearing the wrong pair of slippers. Unlike climate change, he asserted, the growing strength of Islam is not "an existential threat". In other words, don't sweat the small stuff.
So if you are caught defenceless in a restaurant or classroom or movie theatre by a violent jihadist with an automatic weapon, just remember, climate change is an existential threat. I mean, for God's sake, put things into perspective will you?
While the science on climate change is "settled", climate models are impeccably reliable, and predictions about sea level rises and temperature increases are incontrovertible, that gunman you see before you shouting "Allah Akbar!" could simply be a figment of your imagination. An illusion. A projection of your Islamophobic fears. Best to organize your life around things that you know to be true.
For example, if you are a Swedish woman who, statistically, has a one in four chance of being raped by a Third World Muslim man in her life time, and you are afraid to walk the streets of Stockholm even in the broad daylight, ditch the paranoia. It is more productive to focus on the Paris conference on climate change, because what happens there will affect the entire life of your son, the one sired by the Muslim assailant you will encounter next month on your way home from the supermarket.
When you reflect upon it, your fears about the demise of Western, European civilization are unwarranted. Just because 950,000 Syrian and other Third World migrants, the great majority of whom are young Muslim men steeped in a rape culture, have overtaken Germany, and the EU predicts that another 3 million will come next year, to be followed by untold millions after that, is no reason to worry.
I mean, what is the worst case scenario? That the welfare state that your parents and grandparents worked so hard and fought so hard to create will destroyed by the demands made upon it by hordes of poor, unassimilable and unemployable barbarian wretches who take over every park, school and community centre? That the government will boot you out of your apartment to house them as they have done to tenants in Germany and Sweden? That disaffected, alienated roving gangs of angry, menacing young men will make your neighbourhood unsafe? Is that it? Is that all? Oh you poor thing!
What you need lady, is an attitude adjustment. You need to be sentenced to a Diversity Awareness and Sensitivity Workshop. You need to check your privilege, your belief in some God-given entitlement. And more than that, you need to learn to be tolerant, welcoming and accepting. Just because that Third World thug who mugged you has a different set of values than you do is no reason to be judgemental. Different cultures have different ideas about right and wrong, one is no better or worse than another.
And what's all the fuss about our cultural heritage and that little thing called European civilization? What makes you think that our cathedrals, our art galleries, our literature, our concepts of person liberty, freedom of expression, the rule of law, the separation of church and state and the right to a fair trial are so damn important? I mean, get a life! Besides, everything Europeans ever accomplished came as a result of racism, colonialism, imperialism, slavery and oppression.
The truth is, you should be ashamed of your white skin. It is amazing that you can even look at yourself in the mirror. Why don't you commit suicide? No wait. It would be better if you encouraged your nation to commit suicide. Not that they need much encouragement.
Meanwhile, get down to that demonstration on climate change. Priorities. Life is all about priorities.
Follow our ongoing coverage of the migrant invasion of the West.
- Ban Muslim Immigration? Trump Is Right. (December 2015)
- Douglas Saunders: Muslim Immigration Is Good for the West (November 2015)